The acoustics of sneezes
I measure the acoustics of sneezes.
Its true, I do. You are probably saying
to yourself, that’s mighty strange!
And you know, I have to agree.
It’s not a fetish, just so you know.
It’s not like I’m out there watching
people sneeze, their noses red,
The honking and then their eyes
shut tight, sometimes nearly
wrecking the cars they drive,
or bumping into each other on the street.
Sometimes they look quite dizzy
for a minute or two, they have to
sit down, drink some hot Toddy,
wait for the neurons in their brains
to collect and pool back into
all of the right places.
It’s not a fetish like that.
I’m not out there collecting sneezes
and maybe the God bless you’s that
follow. I’m only collecting that one
thing and that one thing only,
The acoustic of sneezes, the pitch
of the squeals, the moanings
and sighs that sometimes come after.