Poetry by Justin Hyde

i advise you to jack-off and keep those cheeks between your teeth

/

starting in seventh grade

i’d suck my cheeks in

while walking the halls

between class.

the idea came to me

watching

the cosby show,

mrs huckstable

said she’d done it

in high school

to get a prom date.

i figured it might make me look

more appealing

and help me

put the machine-gun

between my legs

to practical use.

of course

i already stared at the floors

while walking the halls

between class,

so sucking in my cheeks

only made me look like an anorexic

taciturn

jackass.

what the girls want

i found out years later

is for you to smile

and take your hands

off the wheel.

when you do

they’ll come around – –

one of them

whistling marriage

like a willing

oedipal

mother

until you acquiesce

and then

i promise you brother

she carves you out

like a cheap

roadside

pumpkin.